Teens New Year - Resolve to Be the Person You Want to Be

New Year's Eve is here, and everyone's talking about resolutions: "Lose 10kg!" "Run a marathon!" But these goals can feel overwhelming."Pass NCEA with Excellence! These goals are ambitious but they can also feel overwhelming.

With one black or white, pass or fail goal we can play havoc with our mental health if we can't stick to our ambitious target.

Instead of focusing on one specific goal, consider this: who do you want to become?

Focusing on being the person you want to be shifts the focus from one specific goal to your long-term identity that you can adopt now. This is the "Atomic Habits" approach advocated by John Clear in his book which helps you celebrate continuous improvement and stacking of positive habits to keep making steady steps in the direction of your dreams.

Applying "Atomic Habits"

1. What is the Identity you Want?

   • Ask yourself: "What kind of person do I want to be?" Avoid a Black & White identity set far in the future. "I want to be the Best Rugby Player I can possibly be" is better than "Be an All Black."

   • Other Examples: "I want to be healthier." "I want to be calm." "I want to be consistently creative." "I want to be an athlete." "I want to be an Excellent Student."

   • You can then use this identity to guide your daily choices. "Would an athlete be on their phone till 1am?" "Would the best rugby players eat a pie after training?" "Would an Excellent Student leave their homework to the last minute?"

2. Focus on the Systems & Habits of your Identity.

   • Instead of setting a goal like "run a marathon," focus on the system:

     • "I am an Athlete. I train consistently, I fuel my body with nutritious food, I value sleep & recovery."

     • "I am an Excellent Student. I listen in class, I do my homework well, I practice and turn up to class ready to learn."

     • "I am a Healthier Person. I have a healthy diet, I avoid sugary drinks, I'm active most days and I get a good night's sleep."

   • Small, Consistent Actions: Focus on repeated small, daily habits and choices that demonstrate to yourself your desired identity.

   • Stack up a range of small habits - together small changes can have a huge impact.

3. Be that Identity now!

   • Each good habit you take reinforces your chosen identity from day one.

   • No matter how unhealthy you've been in the past, you can be "A Healthier Person" today by making the right choices. Each time you practice, you are acting like a "High-Performance Athlete." When you do your best homework, you are "An Excellent Student."

     
     

It's not about achieving a specific goal, it's about repeatedly taking the actions and the choices consistent with who you want to be.